Monday, January 18, 2010

I Am More Than Just A Great Arse, Thanks.

I was once strolling through town with a friend when he caught sight of his ex and decided to introduce us as "Great Arse" to "Great Tits." It's been quite a while since this happened but it still bothers me.

So I suppose the first lesson from this rant is "if you do something like that, it sticks in the memory." In fact my most distinct memory of the individual in question is this one despite some fun but ultimately it would seem mistaken bedroom antics.

The second would be that this isn't a joke. It's not funny, and in no way does it sound to the other people involved like a joke. His ex and I shared a moment of non-verbal communication that amounted to "This is why the break up?" "Yeah." "I know the feeling." We didn't laugh instead we were pissed off by such blatant and unabashed objectifying and to a degree embarrassed by our association with someone who would say that.

There's a school of thought which says we should be thankful for the compliment and enjoy the fact that he appreciated the fine aesthetic of these particular parts of our respective bodies. I disagree. If he wanted to compliment my posterior he could have, and did, do it privately. The statement he made in introducing me in this manner was not "I think this part of you is attractive." but rather "This is your best, and indeed foremost mention-worthy feature. Name? Personality? Subculture? Nah. Backside, baby." It's the same indication as he made to his ex. I suspect they didn't have a particularly fulfilling relationship.

Many men undoubtedly feel that I should be complimented by attention I get from them. If they're strangers or people who aren't close friends or my partner at the time I really don't. It just makes me feel like they think I'm there for their gratification. In my experience the road from that to being just there for physical gratification and experimentation is very short and rather destructive.

Thanks, but no. I'd much prefer to be complimented on how well I express my anger about these fucking idiotic attitudes and the kind of damage they cause.


  1. More than not, I'd think this problem has more to do with social acceptance than anything else. It's impolite to introduce anyone in such a manner. Even if joking, I wouldn't liked to be introduced as "NewClassic" to an offline contact as I would to be called "Skinny McBones" or any other variety of physical-feature-moniker. Hell, it'd bother me to be introduced as "Fantastic Writer" instead of my own name.

    If that has happened (as it occasionally does), I'd go over them and introduce myself, and wait until a more socially acceptable time to tell them not to do that. It's probably not what they were intending, and just an honest mistake made in the name of humor. I can forgive, even if I don't forget.

    As much as I respect your endless distaste for the ass behind the ass-compliment, I do recommend telling him where he can shove it next time he does that, and introducing yourself. May not save you the rage, but it does help with the impending headache.

  2. I did introduce myself, however I think it's a product of a larger problem. Probably didn't get that bit across quite so well in the rant. Eh. Next time maybe.